Esentially, I wanted to see if the market that I'm serving today will fit the market I'm aspired to enter in the future. To do that, I needed to create a bang that, first, bang me. Shock myself.
Today I did my first act to disrupt myself.
Over the past three years, especially since I received my CPF, I got more and more sulking responses from my repeat clients on how they could not afford my increased consultancy rate.
I also heard other consultants - esp. those who are not professional facilitators - talking behind my back saying that, "Endro is expensive" or "Endro is unaffordable."
Admittedly, since I got my CPF, I became quite selective on taking facilitation projects. Yes, I still needed to make a living #duh But, as I trusted the universe more than ever, it was not hard to find me saying NO to offers while safely securing other gigs. #praisetheuniverse
It was during my annual break last month that I decided to do what ONLY I can do. That includes saying NO to projects that other facilitators I know - and trust - can deliver.
Today, that decision - call it hypothesis - was proven true.
Few weeks ago, I sent a proposal for a 'rather common opportunity.' It was challenging, but the context did not require me to stretch myself. To put it easier: I can design the project in few hours and charge for a day of work.
As I did not expect too much on this opportunity, I turned it into an experiment. In the proposal, I scaled up the scope beyond what the client requested.
From event, I scaled it up to project. From few consultancy days, to almost 30 days. From outputs to mid term outcomes.
While the proposal still addressed client needs, I knew it was all beyond what they needed. Remember, I wanted to see if existing clients wanted to achieve more which hopefully stretch my current capability.
I wanted to see if my clients needs grew along with my development needs.
Esentially, I wanted to see if the market that I'm serving today will fit the market I'm aspired to enter in the future.
As you can expect, this experiment resulted in a turn down on my proposal.
My first response? I smiled.
My hypothesis was proven. When I plan to grow, my challenges need to scale up. And that includes to find OR develop new markets, clients and projects.
What would be the ideal market for my future disrupted self?
Those that require more robust, strategic and wider-adaptability process design; and not so much focusing on the performing part of facilitation.
Those that require marathon - projects and programs - with more unknowns along the way, instead of sprinting with events or sessions.
Those that aiming for values and impacts-driven changes, not only benefits, outputs let alone deliverables.
When I disrupt myself, I need to find or create situations where the present no longer fits me. At the same time, I need to find or create the future that fits my aspirations.
When I disrupt myself, it was not because I am no longer relevant to the present. It was because the present is no longer relevant to the future version of my self.